Abstract
This qualitative study interviewed heterosexual men (n=12) who had experienced a difficult relationship with a woman defined as ‘emotionally difficult, but without the presence of physical abuse’. Thematic analysis described three main themes: meaning of difficult relationships; immediate impact; longer-term impact and two higher order themes: gendered standards; power imbalance. Transcending these themes was men’s normalisation of their experiences. Overall, men experienced controlling, shouting and blocking behaviours which had immediate and longer-term negative effects. They also described how these relationships were underpinned by double standards of behaviour and a power imbalance. Further, they showed a tendency to normalise these experiences which reduces their status as a victim and makes their partner’s behaviour more acceptable. Accordingly, as the literature has been reluctant to accept men as victims, so are the men themselves.